Day 17 of 30. In the Groove.

It’s been just over two weeks, and I’m in a pretty solid routine.  The good thing is, it’s a sustainable routine.  I know how I’m going to prepare shakes for the day.  I know what snacks I’m taking to work with me. I know what I’ll have for dinner when I come home from work.  I’ve also figured out how to hydrate enough and not wet my pants.  

I FaceTimed with my sister tonight because I didn’t know what to write about.  All I had was the late morning choking incident when I sucked an itty bitty piece of an almond into my lung while on the phone with a coworker. I think there was something else, but it’s so boring even I forgot it.  So I’m just going to write the stuff that floats through my mind.  

Dear Detox Diary,

As we get closer to the end of the detox, I find myself thinking about the future.  What foods am I going to have to say good-bye to forever?  How will it feel to know I’ll regret eating my favorite foods?  Will I always think of them like a long lost friend? You know that friend who’s been out of your life for a while then you have a moment when you miss them, invite them to lunch, and it all comes crashing back – the reason you don’t spend time with them any longer.  I don’t want to feel that way about my friends!

I’ve made a goal for after the detox days are behind me.  I’m determined to find a way to prepare the foods I love with the same types of food I’m eating now.  Someone, somewhere out there knows how to make a good gluten-free biscuit, and I’m going to find their recipe, so I can have chicken gravy and biscuits!  If that recipe doesn’t exist, I’m not afraid to experiment.

I’m not willing to go back to my pre-detox world, so I will find a way to make this new one work for me.  Will I want pizza? Absolutely.  I might even eat it every now and then.  To go completely back is simply not an option, though.  Being free of the discomfort and pain I’ve experienced over the past 10 years holds so much more value to me.

I only hope reading this will help someone else to stay on track.  It’s not always unicorns and butterflies.  It’s sometimes very hard, but I’ve done it!  If I can share all of the crap with all of the good, maybe another person will see they’re not alone in their thoughts about the struggle or the insecurities, and they’ll see what can happen if they just hang in there!  

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